Book suggestions 

I wanted to include on my website some sentiments around wellness that I shared with the amazing Staff at the United Way. I was thrilled to be invited to speak at their “Wellness Wednesday” lunch hour gathering.

 

Have any of you heard the Wall of Fire analogy? I will share it with you because it has been profound for me on my journey towards wellness.

 

So, imagine, you’re standing ‘over there’ from where I am. I can see you fine. From your perspective to get to my side of the field there is this wall of fire. You can see the scorched earth below and it is 100 yards across. It is as high as you can see and there is no way around it in either direction. To get to where I am, you obviously have to walk through that wall of fire.

It is daunting and however happy I look from there the wall of fire is still a huge barrier. You hem and you haw, turn away several times, consider running away and even though you strive to stay where you are the ground below you is shifting. You are deeply uncomfortable and you can see me through the flames living easy and carefree. You might even experience envy and jealousy because of the preferable position you see me in.

 

Some people will stand on the wall of flames forever. They will do whatever it takes to retain their tenuous hold; working hard, pleasing everyone else. You name it there is no end to the creativity of the people who are terrified to move and terrified to stay where they are. Few people will walk into the flames knowing that there is simply nothing better to do. It is not just the best choice, it is the only choice.

 

We have all heard and seen stories reported of heroes who say, I couldn’t just stand there when faced with bravery that needed doing. They don’t know how it will turn out but, they feel compelled from within to act. I am certain you know some of these people.

 

Going back to complete the story about the wall of fire… after all of the production and the kerfuffle with some people staying to rage at the world for being wrong or different than they were told it would be, some people might even go through the wall and say that they got pushed into the flames by circumstance.

 

The reality of those who go into the flames is that they find themselves very quickly to be out of them. It turns out that there is something wrong with the perspective of distance from the other side. It looks further, deeper, wider than it is. It takes no time at all to step through, almost as if stepping into and through the wall of fire happens simultaneously. They look around in amazement at how clear and beautiful everything is.

 

The truth about being present, is that you can bring your past with you but, you can’t go back. You have to leave yourself behind because you are worth something now.

 

Let me give you an idea of what this analogy means to me. Actually, first, in order imprint this analogy into your consciousness and give you the chance to come to your own conclusions, try this quick exercise with me.

 

Close your eyes

Take a slow steady inhale and release a full complete exhale

Roll your shoulders up, back and down

Open your eyes

 

Sometimes sitting, simply breathing, generating some physical movement can feel like you are doing nothing. In fact, it can feel like it goes against everything we need to be doing on the outside to keep our commitments together. We can convince ourselves that everything “real” comes from initiating something. In the inner world, the landscape that  you just briefly experienced, we find something different and sometimes more difficult to navigate. It can be less familiar.

 

The relationship that you have with yourself or the one that you are going to now challenge yourself to create calls for you to pause, observe and look at where all this doing arises from. For those of you in this room who are busy, this is nearly impossible to hear. I would suggest that finding those moments of stillness in your day to “just be” is paramount to your well being.

 

Close your eyes again

Think about a time when you felt overwhelmed,busy maybe even anxious

Perhaps, me just saying this, initiates your thoughts to fluctuate, physical sensations to arise, the pace of your breath to be shallow Take a slow steady inhale through both nostrils, seperate your lips and release an exhale with a sigh out of your mouth

Roll your shoulders up towards your ears, soften them back towards the wall behind you drawing your shoulder blades in to kiss and surrender your them down towards your hips

Go ahead and open your eyes

 

Remind yourself that you- just like the “U” in United Way are the beginning. We often give up on our beginnings. The curiosity and newness of starting something can quickly lose momentum. The messiness of  life can get in the way of making that connection with ourselves.

 

How can you as a community of people get behind my invitation to connect with yourself? Change how you experience your day. Keep it simple. Draw one another together by encouraging the initiation of taking a deep breath. How this community right here, right now, views itself is important to adopting wellness. I would suggest that any barrier to this is an opportunity to see your selves differently. I’d like to suggest a way to achieve an even bigger impact.

 

Engage in deliberate practice. Spend time throughout your day, especially when you might be experiencing challenges, to invest in yourself. You’ll quickly begin to notice this self care provides an invitation for empathy with ourselves and perhaps, an even a better capacity of understanding over time of how it feels to be present. Being exactly where we are -  without judgement or trying to change it often extends towards others in our lives and results in compassion for others which is also so very vital to our well being.

 

We need to be absolutely kind to all of ourselves- the ones who don’t want to take a break to breath and just power through the tasks we have to complete and the self who wants to take more breaks than necessary and most importantly, the one who strives to use your mind and body as a kind of laboratory for living. Living in the realm of “interesting.”

 

An actionable step you can take several times throughout the day to is to breathe, close your eyes, move your body in some small way that invites you to release and soften. You will find that you can not breathe consciously and have a thought at the same time. Somehow your “to do” list evaporates.

 

Close your eyes again.

Take a slow steady inhale and a full complete exhale

Invite your shoulders to roll up, back and down.

Open your eyes